ORDER ONLY: Private Message to Frank
Sep. 19th, 2013 04:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_aliceI feel awful.
I want to slap him silly and then give him a cuppa and an enormous hug.
He's hurting and tired and heartsore and I took away something that made it feel a bit better and I'm just so worried that he might be crumbling while I stand there and watch. Oh, there's a potion that we're pinning all our hopes on but hasn't actually been used in Merlin knows how long. Or we could always assassinate Mulciber, which might actually help a great deal on several fronts, but would be massively difficult to pull off and impossible to do safely.
I don't know if I'm making it worse or stopping a disaster, and I never thought in a million years I'd have to tell Bill sodding Weasley not to sleep with an Auror. And when I told him that I was starting to seriously question his judgement, I could see Arthur's face in my mind's eye and it broke my heart two times over.
I wish he was here to help Bill. And me. And all of us. Merlin, I miss him.
What I do know is that I'm in charge of this good person, this person I know and love who's already sacrificed so much of his happiness, and I'm pushing him to keep doing something he loathes because we need him there. I might push him so hard that he'll break. And I hate it.
I want to slap him silly and then give him a cuppa and an enormous hug.
He's hurting and tired and heartsore and I took away something that made it feel a bit better and I'm just so worried that he might be crumbling while I stand there and watch. Oh, there's a potion that we're pinning all our hopes on but hasn't actually been used in Merlin knows how long. Or we could always assassinate Mulciber, which might actually help a great deal on several fronts, but would be massively difficult to pull off and impossible to do safely.
I don't know if I'm making it worse or stopping a disaster, and I never thought in a million years I'd have to tell Bill sodding Weasley not to sleep with an Auror. And when I told him that I was starting to seriously question his judgement, I could see Arthur's face in my mind's eye and it broke my heart two times over.
I wish he was here to help Bill. And me. And all of us. Merlin, I miss him.
What I do know is that I'm in charge of this good person, this person I know and love who's already sacrificed so much of his happiness, and I'm pushing him to keep doing something he loathes because we need him there. I might push him so hard that he'll break. And I hate it.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-20 01:17 am (UTC)the professor's chasing some waves and I'm taking a bit of a load off. should be home soon.
you made the right choice, al. hard, but right. and he told you about it, which was a good call on his part too. from what you said last night, he's been doing some soul searching, which he needs. he knows what he was doing was risky, which was why he came clean.
it took a bit of humble pie, didn't it? just like fu was talking about.
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Date: 2013-09-20 01:23 am (UTC)And thank goodness he had the wherewithal to tell me. It would've been far more concerning if he'd have tried to hide it.
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Date: 2013-09-20 01:32 am (UTC)besides. you're a damn fine general. you don't put people at risk unless you've got reason, you know what we're each good for, and you keep us all pointed due north.
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Date: 2013-09-20 01:37 am (UTC)Maybe he could come by and talk to Fu a bit more.
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Date: 2013-09-20 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-20 01:38 am (UTC)I hear he's got a thing for aurors.
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Date: 2013-09-20 01:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-20 01:43 am (UTC)he just couldn't help himself.
see, her arse was just absolutely amazing. I mean stunning. work of art.
still is.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-20 01:43 am (UTC)Silly man.